God I trust you. I really do. But I just feel this is too much for me to take, I cannot do this on my own strength.

The whole thing meant so much to me. Every single memory that has to do with you stays with me, and it haunts me. You meant so much to me, and I don’t get how you can seem so okay and I’m so broken around here. We were special, I thought we were invincible. Without you now I’m just struggling to get through each day. How do you do it? How can you cope when all that used to be, all that was important to us are now just remains of the past? Do you see my hurt and my pain? Will you even ever know of it?

God I cannot do this. Please take away my pain.