one was at 12 something something in the morning. so its counted as today also haha.
as i was hugging my bear to sleep it reminded me of EVERYTHING back home.
family, friends, pasir ulu, camps, everything laaa....
then i remembered my mom waving goodbye to me at the airport.
then the tears came, but i quickly stopped them anyways.
I'm even close to crying now once I've thought of it.
=(
then i woke up and did the daily things i needed to do.
walking down for breakfast, i told myself that i wanted to make today a DIFFERENT day.
haha, indeed it was.. in a bad way lo. =(
haih.
today there was subjects like physics and chemistry.
and i didn't even understand a word what teacher was talking.
its not like i didn't try to listen at all.
i tried the whole freaking period.
the worst part of it was teacher:"any questions?"
i really want to ask but..
i really don't want to slow down the progress of the class.
and so i asked Jeremy about those things, its there when i felt that i was really disturbing him from his studies in class too.
i think he also felt annoyed lo..
its there when i felt like crying.
desperately forcing myself to stop,
i felt so weak, hopeless, so powerless.
haih.
I'm really trying hard, i believe, i try.
I'm asking questions, but instead of getting answers, i am disturbing other people's progress in their studies.
i really really have to say sorry particularly to Jeremy who sits behind me as he is the one that always helps me in school. I'm sorry, its just that people like u with so much ambition and hope in them is so hard to find these days. never give up in everything you do. you know what I'm talking about..
and also to my prep session friend who sits beside me---Aravindh (haha, i finally got your name right)
sorry for disturbing you particularly when you're studying history with all my maths things and stuff.
but after that thing i really felt no mood to study anymore.
then there is core maths tomorrow, which I'm gonna be so in trouble.
don't ask me to look at the brighter side as there isn't one.
what a DIFFERENT day.
