The Journey Through My ♥

2012-02-06T01:44:00.001+08:00

i’ll never find another you

11/11/11

2011-11-11T00:42:00.001+08:00

First of all, i don’t believe in any of this ‘its-11.11-make-a-wish-and-it-will-come-true’ kind of thing. Everytime i did this with someone i have always prayed about something i wanted instead of wishing for it. nevertheless, its a pretty date today!

trying my best but a part of my heart refuses to let go.

Back to how it started

2011-10-11T23:34:00.001+08:00

If you were going to walk out of my life, at least set me free

without you I'll be miserable at best

2011-10-07T11:35:00.001+08:00

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

Sometimes…

2011-10-05T15:35:00.001+08:00

its just a matter of time

2011-10-04T23:05:00.001+08:00

I’m an hour away from reaching the age of 18, sneaking a few minutes from studying time for tomorrow to take a break here heh.

I remember when i was 16 watching people around me turn 18 and being grateful that I wasn’t 18 yet and promised myself to enjoy myself before i turned that ‘old’. Now i’m just an hour away from it i feel that time has really passed so fast and maybe sometimes i haven’t made full use of it, but there were so many good memories in the past two years.

To be honest increasingly and especially this year i start to find birthdays so pointless because what does it mean to celebrate your birthday? remember the mark of the day you were born into existence and so? Maybe its meaningful so that you know who really cares about you. i dunno. my thoughts now are so unorganized i don’t even bother to punctuate my sentences properly.

Most importantly what does it mean to grow older? just because i’m going to be 18, doesn’t mean my problems go away, doesn’t mean my flaws in my character disappear, doesn’t mean my broken relationships with people i care so much about would magically heal, doesn’t mean…. you get the point.

i really wonder how much of all this ‘learning' i did this year in terms of knowing more of myself and the people around me and human nature and relationships in general really would contribute to making me a better person or living a better life. Even if i do become a better person or have a better life, what does it mean? I don’t contribute to anybody around me and even if i do, what does it even mean? i’m really at a point where i doubt the purpose of my existence, i know i’m here for something just that i don’t know what it is.

on to things about relationships, i realized that it is something so complex and fragile, do something wrong and someone gets hurt. care too much and things happen, care too little and things happen, and the thing is we never know how much to care because we don’t know how much or how little is just right. I guess the people that you manage to stay in a relationship are those who are willing to look past the mistakes you make in the relationship and value you more than anything.

I have a task at hand that i’m sure that i will be unable to achieve, yet i must try because if water can make a hole through stone one day i will be able to move your heart. its just that i don’t know how much am i giving up for you yet i want to give up everything for you. i wonder why it is so hard and so complex to understand relationship and emotions. sometimes people want to die for you yet you can’t accept them into your life, and sometimes when you try so hard to make someone understand you care, yet they don’t accept you in their life. weird. thats life i guess, something we can never fully comprehend.

I have a birthday wish which i know i would not come true anyway, short of a miracle. so really what is the point of having a birthday?

anyway i’ve finished all my ramblings that i want to spit out from my mind, going to take a bath and sleep. and hope tomorrow i wake up and something will make me feel happy truly, although i doubt that it would happen, as you can see from how i think about the pointlessness of birthdays.

One day there will be a person who will hold the broken pieces of my heart and tell me that it is everything she ever wanted.

All i can do for now is smile bitterly at myself

2011-09-27T01:46:00.001+08:00

but I see the light, I see the hope and I believe in miracles.

I’ve never heard silence quite this loud

2011-09-27T00:58:00.001+08:00

我们到底要冷静多久？

Now that I see you

2011-09-25T10:56:00.001+08:00

Really one of the best scenes I’ve seen in a while. Wonder how much thought and effort went into the movie and this scene in particular. Loved the lanterns!

You are my new dream.

Someone like you

2011-09-24T11:23:00.001+08:00

Your smile will never fade

2011-09-23T20:45:00.001+08:00

So exams are coming soon and I’m coping with the stress so far. Things are likely to get more and more intense from here. There is one thing more important to me however that I’m going to find out but I don’t really expect a good outcome. Fingers crossed and looking to the future.

Please just let me break down your walls.

I’ll rather wear honest tears

2011-09-21T02:05:00.001+08:00

you are still beautiful

2011-09-15T00:14:00.001+08:00

Even if its not me you’re smiling at

2011-09-14T20:35:00.001+08:00

You’re all I had

2011-09-13T19:51:00.001+08:00

Does it even matter anymore?

캐롤린

2011-09-03T02:36:00.001+08:00

Straight from the heart

2011-09-01T01:00:00.001+08:00

To all the teachers, happy teacher’s day! Thank you for constantly and selflessly putting in your time and effort into making us students brighter and better people! Thank you for your endless dedication and patience for us. Thank you for your guidance throughout our lives. Thank you for simply existing in our lives! In one way or another, every teacher has made an impact in my life, and I am so grateful for all my teachers. So straight from the heart, thank you for everything, that I honestly don’t deserve. Happy Teacher’s Day!

“At this moment, I feel that…without you, I might die”

2011-08-31T02:31:00.002+08:00

-start-

The stars gave a slight glimmer to the otherwise dark and glum night. The previous delicate drizzle of raindrops had stopped, providing a slight twist of moisture in the otherwise waterless atmosphere. Rhythmic bounces of a ball can be heard, accompanied by what appears to be soft murmuring and the tuning of a guitar string, all coming from a distance.

A approaches B as B comes out of the door to meet A

A: Hey, how are you? *stages a smile*

B: I’ve been good.

A: Why don’t we go over there to the playground and sit?

B: *agrees silently*

A and B both settle down, a small gap between them even after sitting down.

A: Alright, I’ll just go straight to the point. I’m sorry for everything that happened. I just want you to know that I’m not perfect, and I have made mistakes I regretted, especially to you. Please forgive me.

*silence*

A: Its just that I don’t make enough effort to change myself for the better. I’ve tried but I admit I did not try hard enough. I am sorry for everything, and if…

B: *suddenly grabs A suddenly by the waist* (whisper) I know. Hug me.

A: *surprised, however continues on to hug B*

Flashes of memories comes back to both, a tear drops down B’s face.

B: I miss you.

A: Really?

B: Yes.

A: Look I’m sorry for everything that I have done to you. I have not done enough to…

B: I know. I know. Its okay, Its fine. Its not important. I love you.

A: *momentarily breaks away from the hug and looks at B in the eyes* I love you too, and I miss you so much.

B: I miss you so much too.

A: No more okay?

B: *sniff* okay.

A and B both go back into the hug

-end-

This is my dream, and I wish my dream will come true

it just wasn’t you that i’m right about

2011-08-23T21:50:00.001+08:00

Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

-Tom, (500) days of summer

49 minutes

2011-08-15T03:45:00.001+08:00

God, I give up.

What have I become?

2011-08-13T20:45:00.001+08:00

Going through the vacancy that you left behind.

Don’t Breakeven

2011-08-13T01:10:00.001+08:00

God I trust you. I really do. But I just feel this is too much for me to take, I cannot do this on my own strength.

The whole thing meant so much to me. Every single memory that has to do with you stays with me, and it haunts me. You meant so much to me, and I don’t get how you can seem so okay and I’m so broken around here. We were special, I thought we were invincible. Without you now I’m just struggling to get through each day. How do you do it? How can you cope when all that used to be, all that was important to us are now just remains of the past? Do you see my hurt and my pain? Will you even ever know of it?

God I cannot do this. Please take away my pain.

Is someone getting the best of you?

2011-08-08T23:33:00.001+08:00

真对不起你了。

Another world, another life

2011-08-07T01:39:00.001+08:00

Been rediscovering life!

Can’t believe that I had blinded myself from the colours and joy of life. Am so glad that I’m rediscovering who I am, and what means the most to me. Once you find it, never ever let anyone take it away from you =)

What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay

2011-08-03T20:01:00.001+08:00

My head is giving me life or death, but I can’t choose.

Your words fall like raindrops

2011-07-26T23:43:00.001+08:00

and when you spoke of love

how urgent revelations showed:

that the habit of loving

is our one and only shot at happiness.

nobody regrets for having loved,

even the wrong people, or in wrong doses,

because we remember how it once stood for right

- 3AM ON IRC

2011-07-06T15:20:00.001+08:00

I’m sorry that I’m not good enough.

If you’ve got the poison I’ve got the remedy

2011-06-26T19:39:00.001+08:00

♫Jason Mraz – The remedy (I won’t worry)

This song set me free from everything! Jason Mraz is a true musician.

I won’t worry my life away!

It’s the things that you do

2011-06-22T03:37:00.001+08:00

So promise you’ll be careful with my heart.

We are still innocent

2011-06-10T01:41:00.001+08:00

At least know what you are promising for before promising.

We are born innocent

believe me Adia

we are still innocent

its easy, we all falter

but does it matter?

You are my sun and shield

2011-06-06T02:49:00.001+08:00

Reached KL yesterday, currently staying at my brother’s place.

The first half of the year has been good, I feel very blessed about the things and people around me. Sometimes I complain too much. My situation here is much better off than so many people, I must learn to be more grateful.

Thank God for my class! the people in 5.18 have been good to me (: So thankful for them and so blessed to have these kind of friends around!

Spent the whole day making analogies, how trying to score a basket in basketball is like trying to achieve one’s goals in life. Sometimes I’m just so lame.

Gave my grandma a hug today! <3 she seems awfully pleased. Have to thank Caro for making me realize the importance of hugs!

long day of shopping ahead of me! Gonna go get some rest now.

Happy 2 months. Sometimes i wonder….

Sometimes i feel like a mirror. I reflect the people around me. I am never myself.

Take a step back

2011-05-29T20:43:00.001+08:00

Do you know what sucks?

Being aware of everything that is going wrong around you and yet, you can’t do anything to make it right.

Music Speaks

2011-05-03T14:44:00.001+08:00

Was walking back and suddenly the first song “Rascal Flatts – What Hurts The Most” suddenly popped into my mind. It was strange because, i barely remember listening to this song before and I cannot remember how the song went at all, melody and lyrics. The title just randomly surfaced and I’m sure it was at some little corner of my mind covered with cobwebs and what not. For it to come out now, it definitely means something. That song led me to other songs of the same band and I am awed at how the following songs encapsulates all of my emotions and thoughts. The most miraculous thing is that they all come from the same band! Here is the songs and their lyrics. Please take come time to listen to it, they are very good songs.

RASCAL FLATTS – WHAT HURTS THE MOST

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

RASCAL FLATTS – HERE COMES GOODBYE

I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow, nothin's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

Why does it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and youre left alone
All alone, but here comes goodbye
Oh..oooo

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

RASCAL FLATTS – I WON’T LET GO

It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It's breaks your will
It feels like that
You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
No I wont

To my beloved mummy (:

2011-04-16T02:33:00.001+08:00

Dear mom,

Happy 50th birthday! I thank God that He has given you 50 years of life. (: Hope you have enjoyed life so far and hope you enjoy today!

Since its your 50th birthday, let me list down 50 things that i love about you / things you do that i appreciate, in no particular order:

1) You are my mother

2) You have always loved me

3) You’ve always expected the best from me

4) You guide me spiritually

5) You cook great food (healthy too)

6) You call me to see how I’m doing

7) You prepare breakfast for me on school days no matter what

8) You tried to stop dad from caning me too much when i was young

9) You are very understanding

10) You guided me in my homework until primary 4

11) You allow me to shop as much as i want

12) You are very honest with me

13) You are supportive of the things i do

14) You provide transportation for me whenever i need it

15) You prepared the special rice (the ones you had to pluck something off the rice one by one) for me when i was young

16) Your strong belief in God

17) You firmly believe in moral values such as honesty and determination

18) You taught me how to use the Chinese dictionary

19) You challenged me in my studies when i needed a wake up call (UPSR)

20) You disciplined me when i needed it

21) You do your duties faithfully as a mother

22) You allowed me to skip dish-washing duties when it was 2 months away from PMR

23) You are patient in teaching me

24) You have a passion for helping and serving others

25) You love our family

26) You always make sure i have enough money

27) You read the bible and prayed together with me when i was small

28) You are generous

29) You are stubborn

30) You are not afraid to point out something wrong

31) You provide me with emotional support

32) You vacuumed the floor everyday when i was young so that i would not breathe in too much dust (because that time i had asthma)

33) You never let me go to school without completing the house chores

34) You give good hugs

35) You have a heart-warming smile

36) You are beautiful, inside and outside

37) You seldom complain

38) You sometimes make my bad when I'm too lazy to do it

39) You stayed up at night to look after me when i was sick

40) You seldom let me eat junk food when i was young

41) You made me brush my teeth everyday

42) You always use biblical principles to teach me

43) You give compliments and credit when its due

44) You scold me when I’m wrong

45) You taught me how to appreciate

46) You let me continue piano lessons

47) You let me leave my hair long when i was in form 2

48) You are strong in heart

49) Your good photos/ good taste in basically everything

50) You are a Godly person

There are so many things that is good about you, so many things to love about you. There is so much that you have done for me, and the family, that i am sure nobody knows about, that you have done secretly just out of love. For that, thank you mummy! (:

Many times I’ve let you down, many times i have disappointed you, many times I’ve made you cry. I want to apologize for all the hurt i have ever caused you.

You are my source of inspiration, my emotional support and my tower of strength. When i needed someone to pick me up, you were there. When i needed to learn to be independent, you would let me handle things on me own.

From young, i have never heard you say that you want straight As or number 1 positions from me, but you have always stressed that i give my best in everything i do.

Dear mom, i am sorry for all the things i have done wrong, i thank you for all the things you have done for me and all the things you have taught me. Thank you for being who you are and loving me as your son.

You are the best mom ever. Happy 50th birthday!

These are the only pictures i have of you in my computer

Love you mummy! Miss you very much too!

Indescribable

2011-04-15T01:26:00.001+08:00

View Full Album

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

Assurance

2011-04-11T01:21:00.001+08:00

Today I have never felt so sure about it. It shows in everything you did and for that, I am so grateful and loved. (:

This time its special. This time its real.

Maybe this time

2011-03-30T00:04:00.001+08:00

Love me at my worst while i love you with my best (:

Meaning in silence

2011-03-28T01:46:00.001+08:00

Hold my hand and lead me to your heart

I want to get on the 74

and travel all the way back and forth with you. (:

Not the MRT though, coz we would have to stand.

Here we go again.

2010-09-12T08:22:00.001+08:00

Its the end of another holidays.

Its been a long time since i written anything. Life is so busy over here.

Its a Sunday and it is going to be a good day. (:

This holidays can be considered fruitful because at least I’ve started doing SOME (a bit =D) of my work and I really straightened up some stuff that had been on my mind.

Thank God for the people around me. Every friend that has been in my life, good or bad. Because without each of them who made a different impact on me, i wouldn’t be how i am today i guess.

Looking forward to the next term, even though there are so much that is coming out. Anxious, but looking forward. End of year exams (October 4th, reminds you of a date? huh? huh? xD), and intense revising and stuff like that. Its going to be busy, but I’m sure with the help of God I’ll do good.

Love all the awesome people that were in the boarding school during these September holidays that kept my holidays alive. I have no idea how I’ll rot in my own little corner if not for you people.

Owh for you people who didn’t know, I was involved in the YOG (that’s the Youth Olympic Games, different from Olympic Games, but still a world event okay? (: ) I was one of the performers in the opening ceremony.

Yep. Thats us. In the worker.kind.of.cloths.yeah.=S

Thats how i looked on the stage. This was taken in the preview/rehearsal so the lights was not turned on.

Actually the whole thing was just memorable. I looked back and never had a single regret.

It was great fun as i finally FINALLY got to play some form of drumming which i really wanted to since ages ago. Besides learning new stuff i also managed to know a lot more awesome people not just from my school.

Like the Fuhua people. They stand out because they are so lame. HAHA. just kidding. They are fun people. =p

Alright gotta go enjoy my last day of holidays.

Shoutout to family. I miss you all. LOVE YA. (:

Dear God, please give me patience………………NOW.

2010-08-23T22:03:00.001+08:00

Title says it all, I really lack and need patience to face the difficulties and obstacles in life.

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but rather the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting”

Oh you make me smile..

2010-06-14T23:18:00.004+08:00

♫ You make me smile like the sun,
Fall out of bed,
Sing like bird,
Dizzy in my head,
Spin like a record,
Crazy on a Sunday night...

You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe,
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee,
Just the thought of you can drive me wild,
Oh, you make me smile ♫

The simple things are all we need

2010-06-13T19:59:00.001+08:00

Holidays so far has been very interesting! So much has been happening and I have been meeting up with lots of people. Also, I finally tried to revive this super dead blog.

Have anyone realized how simple life can be? I recently did. I just realized that the way to enjoy life is let go of your worries and just enjoy the most simple of things, like the sun, the trees, the sky. Often we get caught up in our worries so much that we get stressed out. All we have to do is remember there is a God there for us, just a prayer away! God has been so good to me, showing me mercy time and time after I done something wrong. I want to enjoy life, and I'm starting from the simplest of things. :)

HIGH TABLE DINNER 2010

2010-05-31T11:32:00.002+08:00

High Table Dinner recently. Finally had some good desert. (:

…

2010-05-28T11:25:00.001+08:00

Thanks for keeping me going. I’ll miss you.

LIFE.

2010-01-16T14:13:00.001+08:00

LIFE

flies when you take each day for granted,

living it aimlessly,

LIFE

lasts when you take a day at a time,

doing something meaningful everyday,

♥♥♥

2010-01-03T23:44:00.001+08:00

Reflection on 2009

2010-01-02T01:33:00.001+08:00

Hey everyone. =) Its the first day of 2010 but I still want to reflect on God’s goodness in the year 2009.

2009 has definitely been an eventful year. There were many ups and downs, highs and lows. So many times I asked God about what he was doing and why was something happening. But eventually as the year ends I look back and realized that everything has gone according to His master plan. There is no doubt that God’s plan is always wonderful no matter how strange it sometimes may seem because He really loves us so much and also because He is good. I thank God for being the God he is, for being faithful to me no matter how distant I may drift away from Him. He works in ways we cannot see and understand yet so marvellous but hey, that’s God. =)

There were many things that I would like to thank God for, starting from getting a scholarship to Singapore that I really hoped to get. I really appreciate those who gave me so much encouragement to face the new challenge that God presented to me. I thank those who made it for my farewell, I was so touched to see everyone. Till today I can still remember Leslie singing ‘You Look Wonderful Tonight’ that night to me. XD

Singapore was definitely something new for me. There were so much things to worry about. What happens if i can’t catch up on studies? What if I don’t make friends? What if i can’t adapt to their lifestyle?

Turns out that everything went alright. I really thank God for giving me awesome friends, roommates, classmates and teachers to help me in my school life. Even though sometimes there were fear and uncertainties, God really made sure I knew He was with me.

In a few days I will be starting school again. I’m looking forward to get my studies right this time. The down side is I have to cut my hair and look like a nerd again. Oh well, at least I’ll look more smart. :)

One thing that surprised me most was how everyone celebrated my birthday. I would be happy if someone would remember and told me ‘Happy Birthday’. But when God wants to bless, He doesn’t bless half-heartedly. When He blesses, He opens the floodgates of heaven and really blesses you until you’re overwhelmed. I prayed that I would have a decent birthday and what I got was really the best, and I could ask for nothing more. Thank You God. I had 3 birthday cakes on my birthday, one from church, one from roommates and one from classmates. Not to mention all the messages that came from friends in Singapore and also from home. I was really touched and genuinely happy that day.

And then there was the trip to Bako, I would never forget all the fun times we had, sitting on the blanket on the beach at night. AH, good times.

Then the year end holidays, where I met up with everyone. It was really good to see my friends and family again.

Its really nice to have you all as my friends. I know every time I need help it will just be a call away. Its really good to see you all again.

I thank God this cute little thing too. It was Vera that gave me it. Now I can’t sleep without it but I’ll have good dreams when i do. =p

2009 has passed. Now we’re heading towards a new year, a new start. As we remember how God has been good in the past year, let us also look forward to achieving new heights with God in this year. =)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T00:42:00.004+08:00

wow. another year has passed. Merry Christmas people and a happy new year in advance =)

An interesting incident that happened during shopping.

2009-12-19T19:56:00.003+08:00

Me and dad are finished shopping, sits down in Bodyglove shop, waiting for sis and mom to finish.

Sis storms over, turns to dad:
I really dislike shopping with mummy, this shirt cannot that shirt cannot, so troublesome, i dunno how you cope with her!

few seconds later, mom storms over:
I'm really tired of shopping with that girl ah, this shirt she want, that shirt she also want, cannot make up her mind de!

LOL. me and dad laugh till peng.

2009-12-14T07:56:00.000+08:00

NZ trip ends tomorrow. =.=

The Unofficial Sister

2009-12-02T19:45:00.004+08:00

This is drawn on a beach near the place I'm staying in New Zealand. To Gladys, the greatest sister you could ever have. Nobody could give better advice or care than you.Hope this cheers you up in this cruel SPM period. =)lovesss.

So far in New Zealand..

2009-12-02T19:23:00.007+08:00

Just a short update from New Zealand. So far the holiday has been exciting and nice. One thing that I really like is the beach near my villa. Awesome beach.Sunrise.
This is Sunset.

Drew some stuffs on the sand as well.The water is VERY cold as well. refreshing and cooling for the legs thou. =)

The blog reborns!

2009-12-02T18:51:00.002+08:00

Yup, I'm back. After a lot of thinking, I've decided to start blogging again. I need something to fill my spare time anyway. I've also changed my layout (the last one looks horrible if you ask me) to a much simpler one. Which also indicates a change in style of blogging. Prepare for a less complicated and less emotional Jo. =)

2009-10-30T00:42:00.006+08:00

Blahs, everyone is clearing out already..
this year seems to have passed so fast.
it seems like just yesterday I arrived at sg, saw my room for the first time and thought "OMG, its so small" XD
anyways, spent a little time reflecting on this year, and yeah,
gonna miss all the fun times with my roommates, always crazy and full of nonsense, all the times we stayed up late talking, studying, laughing, all sorts of crazy stuffs we did.
schools over too, and nope, I'm not involved in study camp =)
Haih, thought of all the happy, sad, fun, worried times, whatever.
gonna miss this year. very enjoyable, full of ups and of course downs, but yeah, thats life, we got to move on don't we?
blahs, am starting to emo, will try not to be so sad that this awesome year is ending already. =)

2009-10-20T13:04:00.002+08:00

Blahs. realized that my blog have many many cobwebs dy. haha.
anyways, exams have finished and I'm free. FREE.
and its darn boring =.=
everyday nothing to do. somehow I wished i had something better to do than looking at my screen everyday.
haha.
till then, the lifeless me has nothing else to say. XD

2009-10-05T00:19:00.003+08:00

16th.. =)
yupps thats right, i have lived through 15 years of life.
thanks to everyone who smsed me, left a message on facebook
and all my dear roommates for the cake and stuffs.
thanks too for FIF for the awesome cake.
another year older, another year mature, another year of challenges.
am looking forward.
thanks God.
happy birthday, your truly. =)

2009-09-08T16:08:00.001+08:00

from now on. SLACKERLAND IS DEFEATED! *shouts*

THIS IS ~~SPARTA!~~ desperation. xDDD

just going to start studying la. final exams in a month. =)

2009-09-08T00:20:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI! =))
yeah, the pic is from the science centre thingy. hehe.
yeaps. happy bday to you dude.
You've been a blessing to me lah ho. many memorable memories. hehe.
thanks for being an awesome friend. no matter what, u still rock to the max. mad but cool scientist! xD
hope u stop being so PROFESSIONAL XDDD and stop being emo so often ah. xDD
must become stronger emotionally yeah.
great to know you and have you as a PROFESSIONAL friend and chairman. haha.
happy birthday and hope you have an awesome year. =)

2009-09-06T01:00:00.001+08:00

moving on.

thanks for the memories.

2009-08-29T21:06:00.001+08:00

Somehow i just miss playing nonsene on my bass.

2009-08-11T19:13:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i just try to go through things on my own.
Sometimes i think i can handle everything.
And sometimes after handling situations with this kinda attitude,
i just wanna give up.
God. i really need you.
i acknowledge that without you i can do nothing

So help me, God.

*guess the waves are getting stronger.*

2009-08-05T00:33:00.006+08:00

Even if there's so much work to do..

Even when the stress is getting stronger and stronger,

I still THANK GOD for many things,

for everything.

For roommates that can afford to use their precious time to make each other laugh

For chocolates and coke that was shared

For sparkling juice, grapes, and cakes to enjoy

For refreshing green tea

And for roommates who are crazy enough to think of various ways to have fun no matter what.

Even if the world is collapsing,

God is good. =)

2009-07-26T18:24:00.008+08:00

Post of randomness.

these are mostly the stuffs I've been doing over the month since I'm been here.

besides studying. =)

went to watch Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. as some genius said it, it was a 2 hour trailer to the last movie. lols.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah, just found out that day. this com lab in my school is filled with Apple computers! migosh. school so rich sia.
been snacking a lot. hehe. who said scholars are poor?
in there: waffles, biscuits, tea, coffee, Milo, juice, milk, and some other random stuffs. haha.

Been watching this jap drama! finished the whole drama (12 episodes) in less than a day! =))

its nice.

Oh yeahs, my 2 pair of slippers are spoiled! really need to get a new one so...

there, my new slippers.

up till here for now, gotta catch up on work.

sleep has become a distant friend.

2009-07-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

I look at the sea, the other side, is my success.

I walk towards the sea. inexperienced, immature, innocent.

I walk into the sea, still stepping on the sand:

the sand supports me.

the little waves can do nothing to me, they only slightly damps my cloths.

as I walk deeper, the ground gets lower.

parts of my body are wet.

the sea throws some waves towards me, but the ground still supports me.

I am still safe.

I walk in deeper, the ground is getting lower.

my whole body is going to be in the water.

the sea now throws more waves at me.

It knows, without the ground, I can be drowned.

But, these waves shapes me. I know I cannot be the same, I know I must change.

little by little, I become more mature, I have more understanding. I have more experience.

I no longer walk on the ground, nor rely on the sand.

Things have changed.

I start to swim.

As I start to swim, the sea gets angrier.

It throws higher waves at me.

I fight for my life, I go on in desperation.

the sea senses its chances of victory, and throws more waves at me.

I start to drown.

I realized I am not safe without the ground.

but there is no ground.

but just when all hope was lost, I find a plank.

a plank from heaven.

it guilds me, teaches me.

it gives me the hope the rekindles my fire for my success.

with the help of the plank, I learn to swim properly.

and so I swam.

the waves is outraged at its failure to contain me.

it throws all it has at me.

I continue on. I go on.

I fight off wave after wave, one higher than the other.

but that doesn't matter, because with every wave defeated, I grow a bit stronger.

I swam.

now, the sea is calm.

because it knows.

it knows,

not matter what it throws at me,

I am still going to get on the other side.

2009-06-30T23:06:00.001+08:00

found out that my birthday comes 2 days before final exam!

NOoo. 16th bday is ruined. =(

2009-06-26T10:10:00.001+08:00

I am enjoying KL. (Dad has been pampering me. =p)

53 messages saying bye to me and asking me to take care. haha. you guys are awesome.

anyway, since SOMEONE could not explain properly what colour is apple green, (haha) I went to search for some pics. lol.

hope its the first one la ho. =)

2009-05-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

LIFE UNDER A SINGAPOREAN ROOF. xD

Just came back from staying over at Jem's house. It was funn. seriously.
Got a message at 4 pm. "Go to roundabout and wait me"
WHOOPS. started to pack. Then Jem ask me to wait below hall 1.
in the end i ended up waiting under hall 1 and he at across the street. lol. waiting for each other.
sat the AWFUL bus coz i got dizzy until i came off. ish. hate this motion sickness.
haha, came down from bus and saw that the place looked similar to Titus house.
Me:EI! here is near Titus's house ler!!"
Jem:You dreaming ahh? Here and bukit timah very far you know!!"
LOL. i'll get lost even in a small country like Singapore. xD

Went there and did what we do best~SLACK.
playing games and piano. then we had the most awesome Bak Kut Teh i had in a long time. haha.
after that, played on com for a few more hours.
Found out that Jem's mom is kinda scary, but rather nice to me haha.

Jem's Mom: EI Jeremy you better study for your National Science Quiz! take out your Bio, Physics, Chemistry, English, Chinese......
Jem: its called national SCIENCE quiz for a reason!"
lols
i find it kinda funny how Jem's mom treats him sooo nice and treats his bro so bad. lol.
Surprisingly we slept quite early.
I slept on the couch, and it was REAL cold.
Me:*wakes up halfway, sees Jem's mom in the room* Aunty, do you have a extra blanket?"
Jem's mom: UMmm...noo..nevermind la. you take Jeremy's blanket."
hahahahahaha, so i slept soo well and he ended up freezing. XDD *sry!!*

Woke up next day, Jem's mom comes in.
Jem's mom: JEREMY! have you brought your friend out to eat Roti Prata or something?"
Jem: *just wakes up* umm...no.
Jem's mom: what kind of LOUSY host is this???
in the end, i ended having chocolate and orange juice for breakfast. hahaa. ate one of Jem's cookies too, coz his mom gave it to me. xD

Went to Jack's Place for lunch. haha. stuff myself dead full.
Jem'd mom keep asking me to eat also.
haha
Jem's mom: ei Joseph! eat the chicken wings!
Me: umm, aunty, I'm quite full already.
Jem's mom: You mean you're such a SMALL eater!?
haha, haven't heard that for a LOOOONNG time. xD

overall it was funn la. the main purpose of Homestay is to experience how Singaporeans live ehh..
haha, found out Jem SLACKS a lot. =)

2009-05-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

we played well. we all know that.
First of all, to all my soccer mates in 3.8
don't be upset! Lets move on and not dwell in defeat.

Today i learnt real lot.
I admire our spirit and sportsmanship allowing that goal to count.
all i can say is that our friendship bond has become stronger through this competition, and i wanna thank everyone for putting their best. Nothing but the real best. I've never seen you guys played this well. Congrats!

To someone: hey!! good that you know you weren't doing the right thing. Its was nice of you to apologize...

2009-05-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

Reflection.
I've been thinking about it. I realized that I have not been a good person. Whether in God's eyes or in other people’s eyes. I just feel so sucky and down now.

I don't know how many "sorry"s I owe God. I know that He is loving and forgives us no matter what. But what I felt was that I disappoint Him. I don't spend time with Him. I don't do quiet time with Him. I don't show that I love him, no matter in how I behave or how I do things. The times I think of Him most is probably when I'm listening to Christian music. I don't think people will see any difference in me anyway that shows I am a Christian. I'm not being a reflector of how great God is.

I remembered, before coming to Singapore, I told myself that this is a new start. I told myself that I will impact people. I told myself that I will be better person. I told myself that I will do things for God. I told myself I will be the person who CHANGES. I don't think I succeeded in any of these.

This brings me to a question. What am I here for anyway? There must be something more than just going to school and having fun with people. There must be something more I can do for God. There must be something more which I can feel that I achieved something that I should do in my life.

Oh wait. I can't even face God with a clean heart. Still thinking of impacting people. Poor me.

I just can imagine how heartbroken he is when he looks at me, and says "how much I want you to come back, to change. I want you to be good." I guess what I do just disappoint him again and again. I think he feels so sad. Hey God, can you stand the pain? I thought of how great he did suffering for us even though he knows in the future we would just disappoint Him again. How awesome You are.

Was listening to "At the cross". Yeah it’s so true. There is no greater love than God's, and I don't even appreciate it. If I were someone else, I'll say that person is SICK.

As I am writing this, I felt my tears. Not because of me, but because I felt the sadness God was feeling. I felt how broken he was. I can see Him looking at me with his loving eyes asking me to come back to him. Pleading me. Telling me how much He loves me. I just don't know what to do now. I can't bring myself to face God.

I feel that in school mostly, I'm not even being myself. OK fine, there are moments I do, when playing soccer mostly, because that's when you can't control yourself and put on a mask while you're concentrating on soccer. I don't think I even behave as I should be. Late for classes, not being polite to teachers.

Why do I even let little things break me? Like people not answering me when i talk to them. I feel I'm being used by them. So what? Why can't I just shake that off? So am I even considered a friend to you guys?

I try to be a good friend, but how many people can even consider me as a good friend in 3.8? How many can trust me when they need to, ask me for help when the need it? How many people can I be a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on? If not, then what on earth am I here in this class, the best class for? There must be a reason, of all the classes to be in. to get 36 points? I don't think so. Seriously.

As I thought through more, I just realized. Being one of the oldest in the class, I have already experienced what they are experiencing. But how many have I helped? Friendship problems, emotional problems etc. It’s not like I don't know how they feel. How many people have I encouraged? How many people have I touched? How many people have I helped when they are down? Most importantly, how many have I shown God’s love? I thought. Sadly I couldn't think of any. What kind of friend am I then?

I watched a slide show of all the pictures I have in my laptop while listening to some Christian music. I felt something was strange. When a song reaches its climax the pictures that came out was always the ones I treasure. The ones that captured the memories and the friendship we had back then. I really missed those times. I miss the times when we could have fun over anything. And we will be there for each other no matter what we're going through. We were always there for each other. I couldn't say the same for now. oooo Bethany peoples, I really miss you guys!

I'm going to sleep now and probably hope that my heart won't break from the multiple waves of sadness I had been experiencing now.

Oh great, I told you something strange is happening. after I typed "my heart won't break" the song "Healer" played. I feel God is with me. I know he will pull me through. You're all I need.

2009-05-05T17:20:00.001+08:00

WOO....
individual oral presentation. DONE.
haha, relaxed mode now.

i trust in You.
i got a feeing..that...
We're gonna make it. xD

2009-04-26T17:53:00.000+08:00

My goodness, look how fast time has passed.

~Memories~

2009-04-25T10:55:00.000+08:00

just downloaded the planetshakers new album!
Planetshakers - Deeper
its very very nice, according to me..
for those who want to download you can go to http://copyz.blogspot.com/
God bless!

2009-04-25T10:35:00.000+08:00

witnessed something that i should never had witness.
and never want to see it again, and never even want to cause it.
never again.
never take revenge, its pointless.
the feelings makes you hit rock bottom. x(

2009-04-23T17:48:00.000+08:00

people are getting stranger and stranger these days.

people hit me because they tripped on me and some more they accused me of purposely tripping them.
people and his friends talk and laughed at self made jokes while teacher was doing his best to teach.
people don't admit wrong even though its so obvious that they are in the wrong.
people don't reply you because for dunno-wad-reason.
people don't care whether you're okay or not.
people have too high expectations.

oh well. people. =.=

2009-04-22T19:05:00.000+08:00

waaah, i just noticed that i used my 100th post on Ali.
be proud man!

oh yeah, just an update, exams is starting on the 7th.

this is about my fitness tests.

2.4km run - 11:40 min ~B
Standing Broad Jump - 234cm ~B
Shuttle Run - 9.2 secs ~A
Pull Ups - 11 times ~A
Sit and reach - 43 ~B
Sit Ups - 42 times (in 1 min) ~B

hoping to retake sit ups and sit and reach coz they are like very close to getting A.

exams coming up soon so i'll be working hard!
won't update too much thennn.. XD

2009-04-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

I think this is really really overdue.

If there is one sentence i should say to you, its gonna be: " Ali, YOU ROCK!"
seriously

hey, we all know that the world ain't that easy-going rite?
no matter what you feel about what you did, let me tell ya something.
i think you're the best chairman I've ever got.
You try to do your responsibilities as a chairman. and i know its hard.
okay, i play a part too.
like, playing soccer in class.
sorry for being a jerk and making life hard for you in class k?
i know you scold us soccer ppl and bite our heads of when the ball touches your Mac book, but yea, we all know that you rock.
you're the most frigging awesome chairman a student could ask for.
and yea, you care for us too. we all know.
continue to do your part for the class k, we'll try to do ours too. okay, at least i would.
and yea, making a decision that you think isn't good when being a leader DOES NOT mean you're not a good leader.
letmetellyousomething.
YOU ARE AN AMAZING LEADER.
we all love yea Ali!
haha.

i know, its a lil badly done. all the same, i really have to try taking more pictures.

haha.

2009-04-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

Upload your fave picture and answer the question below.

Why did you choose the photo?

- Coz i just ate a bowl in Singapore, and i still think Sarawak Kolo Mee Rocks. and i miss it.. *drooollllsss*

When was the last time you ate pizza?

- OMG. the last time i went back to Kuching. bleh, about a month. I'm hungry. x)

The last song you've listen too?

- God Of My Forever by City Harvest Church. Its my favorate now and its also on my blog. =p

What are you doing beside answering this tag?

- Dozing off while writing an essay which i just realized i don't have to write. GARR.

Besides your own name, how do you like people to call you?

- Jo. its nice wad.

Tag 6 persons, the following questions are related to them.

1) Jem

2) Desmond

3) Gladys

4) Lesley

5) Daryl

6) Allister

Who is number 1?

- A awesome guy which saved my life. thanks..

No.3 has a relationship with?

- haha, her boyfriend. HAPPILY EVER AFTER. >.<

Say something about number 5.

- he loves SHUTTLEKOIT. xD he is someone i can rely on in class. lols and he is the person i will beat in soccer in 2 years time. haha

How about number 4?

- haha, she loves basketball, and is a very nice girl. hahahahahaha.

Who is number 2?

- haha, liverpool lover i guess. my good friend back at Kuching. =D

Say something to number 6.

- STOP BEING EMO!!!! =p

2009-04-18T10:50:00.000+08:00

17 days to go..
oh wells.

2009-04-08T15:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i just feel that its so hard.
Its so hard to love people.
Especially people who kick you UNDER THE BELT twice for no apparent reason.
i really don't know how i should stand him.

anyway.
Thank you LOADS for giving me the strength to go through this. I didn't hurt long. xD

2009-04-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

WOOT~
guess wad.
Criteria for B in 2.4 km run
Run between 10:41 - 11:40 mins
and you know my timing?
11:40!
HAHA!
JUN JUN >.<
thank God for answering my prayers. =)

2009-04-05T09:02:00.000+08:00

Fitness test coming up~
or napha or wadeva u call it i dun k.
haha, wish me all the best coz i wanna get gold.
we have to do a 2.4 km run, sit and reach, standing broad jump, pullups, situps, and shuttle runs.

so yea, i wanna b in everything
2.4 under 11 mins i happy dy, dun wan to ask so much. xD
situps and pullups must must must A!
haha, its 45 and 7 times for A respectively if u didn't know.
Pray for me, i need strength. =p

2009-04-04T16:27:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, I've failed you.

Again and Again.

even if You'll forgive me every time,

I still disappoint you. Over and over again.

I know, it pains me too to see you sad.

I'm SORRY.

sorry for not being what I'm suppose to be.

2009-03-28T11:35:00.000+08:00

YOOHOO~~

I finally got my soccer CCA shirts! xDD

super cool la.

cost me 52 bucks. Two sets plus socks. =)

OMG, Its super nice rite?

It looked so nice! It even had an Adidas tag on it!

hehe, even the plastic bag used to contain the shorts have Adidas. lols.

Love my CCA.

haha, sry la if its a bit over-

never had this kinda thing back home wad. =)

2009-03-23T19:04:00.000+08:00

its so ~~good~~ unpleasant to be back at Singapore.
no insult intended la, its just that i didn't want to leave Kuching THAT fast.. =(
anyway lo, if i don't go back, i will never feel the joy of coming back.. as quoted by Caleb..
haha, i find it real true lo..
I'm gonna miss Mummy..Jie...Best girl friend xD...all my friends...haih.

anyway, i wanna make this term a meaningful term.
WATCH OUT SWAPNIL SAURABH ARUL
I'm gonna beat u guys at at least 1 or 2 subjects.

ALSO,
i wanna wish Yan Hui all the best for her driving test!! xD
u will do well and u won't crash de la. haha.
i go back le u must pick me go gai gai dy. hahaha.
ALL THE BEST YEA... x)

2009-03-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with mom today. =)

need loadsa things for my soccer stuff..

haha, something hilarious happened on the way to the shops haha.

Met Yesh and Shellyn!

coz we din really see them coz their car was a bit behind us, they were shouting and calling.haha. they saw us ma.

then my mom say, you see the kids here so noisy.

then i looked and OMG Grace was looking at me calling me with her sunglasses and all that.

Shellyn was laughing too.

oh yea, Barnabas was there too. xD

then we disturbed her about someone.

Shellyn: *Points at Grace and makes Crying Face*

Barnabas: *Doing the same thing*

Grace: "NO!!!"
xDDD

Shellyn: "SHHH..*points at my mom*

we all loled.

anyway, homework haven't finish.

haih, can anyone help me define "Surprise events"?

2009-03-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life.
I have totally no idea facing a English essay. =(((

2009-03-19T08:12:00.000+08:00

bro went off todays.

haha, all the best to you.

Even though we might hate each other for being annoying, its been a pleasure to have u as a big bro.

Everyone is leaving i guess.

this is the part where i don't understand.

WHY?

why do i have to endure separation after separation after separation?

sometimes i wish i was just a little kid, who doesn't even understand separation.

who is so innocent that they don't think people go for long periods.

so pure hearted that they know someday they will come back, and there's nothing to be sad about.

i dunno, its so cruel.

taking away everything i've belonged to.

i spend 2 months looking forward to 1 week and spend 1 week dreading the next few months.

its just so....=(

But i know, this is all because of God's plan. its hard when these things happen but oh wells, we just have to trust lo...

haih, i still feel sad..

2009-03-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

aarghh, holidays nearing an end and my homework pile haven't even moved yet..=((

2009-03-18T01:43:00.000+08:00

Major lesson learnt today..

appreciate what u have now, no matter how insignificant, no matter how small they may seem.
coz one day we might look back, and miss it like crazy, and when its gone, it won't come back.

2009-03-15T22:38:00.000+08:00

OMG, its so good to be back!

Kolo Mee tasted super nice la. even my mouth is watering now.

had this for dinner.

SATURDAY

mom asked me to eat this when i wake up.super nice!!!

aaa, i love Kuching.

2009-03-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

And in conjunction with the Blue Ocean Strategy..

we present you... the QUOTE OF THE DAY~

Jonathan Keith Chua : I know fighting isn't good.

xDDDDD

look whos talking.

2009-03-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

HAHA, just the clarify some things.

LESLEY LAU!

i DO NOT know you hp number!

and due to the ULTIMATE BLURNESS of Desmond Ong, he sms-ed Jason to call u.

so i went to sleep.

hahahahaha.

kill Desmond for it.

and yeah, I'm using my friend's internet now so i have TOTALLY NO ACESS to internet okays!?

not i dun wan to update or anything..xD

Lun, i din freakkkiing get any message la. next time i just call u k?

and there's no hookers on soccer team kays!?

wadsa problem with you??

haaha, packed dy, so looking forward to coming back. 2 more days!

2009-03-01T17:09:00.000+08:00

my life is in a mess.. =(

my room is messy,
i don't have some things i need for soccer..
I'm dreading PE..
I'm not sure whether i can face another week of hectic school life. =(
my heart is not calm...
i haven't do SOME homework.
waah, i gotta stop wasting my weekends away le..
calm down Jo, calm down.

2009-02-27T21:09:00.000+08:00

This is from Luke 15:3-6

Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'

even ONE lost sheep, the Shepherd rejoices when he finds it.

Just ONE.

how much more should people rejoice for a lost friend?

Thank God for you. I'll really really cherish our friendship this time. xD

2009-02-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

just a few thoughts...

from what I've experienced and learnt so far.
exams are just exams la.
marks are not important,
its the EFFORT that counts.
i realise that if u don't get good marks you have nobody to blame but yourself.
it doesn't matter if u failed if u did your best.
all you can do is say : "well, i did my best. "
then i can infer that i have to right to be disappointed with myself if i don't work hard.
simple?
some ppl blame it on the day.
'why is today not going well for me?'
hmmm, i have nothing to say, u want to think that way, your problem.
some ppl blame it on life.
'well, life's like that. you don't get it all'
hey, no effort, of course don't get anything la.
maybe some people blame it on teachers.
' that teacher kanasai la, dunno how to teach wan. '
then how come other ppl can get full marks le?
the thing we should do is,
ask ourselves.
reflect.
is this really all i can do?
search deep in you heart. motivate yourself.
how can i make myself earn the good marks?
hmm.
success start from yourself. nothing is to be blamed for failure except yourself.
of course, God plays a big part too.
as long as you rely on him, he will guide you.
'WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!' -- copyright @kiki.

and even getting good results. does that mean you have the right to shout and scream?
jump up and down?
what do you think the ppl who didn't get good results will feel?
i feel we should comfort those who didn't get good results.
build them up.
just think, what if the person who didn't get good results was you?
its hard rite?
'always look at the other side of the coin' --- famous quote by Caleb which i cannot forget.

sorry guys, recently i like to express my point of view. xD

2009-02-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

They say love is about giving, not receiving.
but can a person keep constantly give, unconditionally, without receiving anything back?
CAN HE? OR SHE?

sorry, I've just realised that my last few posts are all wordy =(

2009-02-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

Summarizing up today..=)

Chem, Lang Arts and Core Maths are gone!! yay.
I'm quite confident about the Lang Arts and Core Maths but Chem, haih,
dunno whether will pass or not. hope the result not too bad la anyway.
PE today. i was shocked and terrified when teacher said we're going for 3.2 km run.
i was like.OMG OMG OMG OMG.
but then lucky teacher was like slowing down his speed so its like okay lo.
I SURVIVED! running all the way too! was quite pleased with my performance la. lol

and then today we had FLIP (Financial Literacy something something...I forgot xD)
and Joshua Foo was OMG OMG-ing HIGH. and you know why?
He was flirting the whole way with the teacher. OMG OMG OMG.
what are you doing on Saturday, Madam?
omg, we were laughing at his obsession with our teacher.. =P
and then after that he was like so happy. xDD

after that the next interesting thing that happen in school was our presentation at Language Arts period.
our group was presenting something about Nancy which is a character in a passage.
i was saying something like Nancy supported her husband and therefore can be counted as loyal.
then me and teacher "argued" about that coz she didn't think it can be counted as loyal. then i just said that loyalty has many meanings and you should look at it from different perspective etc. etc. lol.
imagine crapping during a class lesson. lols.
then some ppl wanted to ask some questions just for making us speechless lo.
something like, how do you know Nancy's husband was successful coz Nancy supported him.
then my friend tried and tried to explain.
then i got a brilliant idea.
i said :"well, you know, there is a saying that goes 'Behind every successful man there is a WOMAN' "
haha, and teacher laughed and applauded me and said good point coz obviously she is a woman too.
the person who asked the question was really stunned.
haha, Kenneth. I Owned YOU! lol

then, the rest of the day went back to normal lo.
am a bit angry with some ppl who thinks

"ROOMMATE" = "ROOMMAID"

I'm also quite frustrated la.
coz recently when i call ppl up they have so many reasons.
some study, and battery low, or sleepy, o maybe taking care of babies that kinda stuff.
I'm not blaming you guys la, its just a sign that i miss you guys a lot. lol.

i really miss you guys a lot.

2009-02-06T19:25:00.001+08:00

today, i was on the brink of crying 2 times.
one was at 12 something something in the morning. so its counted as today also haha.
as i was hugging my bear to sleep it reminded me of EVERYTHING back home.
family, friends, pasir ulu, camps, everything laaa....
then i remembered my mom waving goodbye to me at the airport.
then the tears came, but i quickly stopped them anyways.
I'm even close to crying now once I've thought of it.
=(

then i woke up and did the daily things i needed to do.
walking down for breakfast, i told myself that i wanted to make today a DIFFERENT day.
haha, indeed it was.. in a bad way lo. =(
haih.
today there was subjects like physics and chemistry.
and i didn't even understand a word what teacher was talking.
its not like i didn't try to listen at all.
i tried the whole freaking period.
the worst part of it was teacher:"any questions?"
i really want to ask but..
i really don't want to slow down the progress of the class.
and so i asked Jeremy about those things, its there when i felt that i was really disturbing him from his studies in class too.
i think he also felt annoyed lo..
its there when i felt like crying.
desperately forcing myself to stop,
i felt so weak, hopeless, so powerless.
haih.
I'm really trying hard, i believe, i try.
I'm asking questions, but instead of getting answers, i am disturbing other people's progress in their studies.
i really really have to say sorry particularly to Jeremy who sits behind me as he is the one that always helps me in school. I'm sorry, its just that people like u with so much ambition and hope in them is so hard to find these days. never give up in everything you do. you know what I'm talking about..
and also to my prep session friend who sits beside me---Aravindh (haha, i finally got your name right)
sorry for disturbing you particularly when you're studying history with all my maths things and stuff.
but after that thing i really felt no mood to study anymore.
then there is core maths tomorrow, which I'm gonna be so in trouble.
don't ask me to look at the brighter side as there isn't one.
what a DIFFERENT day.

2009-01-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

the Internet ppl at school is really pro.
they blocked everything.
literally everything.

i can't even see shoutmix.. =(

miss the good times...

2009-01-26T19:57:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year ALLS =)